Wednesday, August 17, 2011


I took the kids to the house today. Jessica is so autistic she will not enter the house from the back door! The man had already started to lay down tile at the front door. Juergen couldn't stop Jessica from walking over the tile. It was awful! So I brought Jessica home. I'm not going to bring her back to the house, at least until the tile work is finished (Friday I guess). The windows will be late. So We can not start on the boys rooms. So we will not realistically finish the boys rooms. But we will eventually finish the boys rooms. I'm not excited about packing. I would rather paint or put up wallpaper. But it has to be done, so I'm packing! We are all pretty stressed. This is a pretty big task, I guess we were just fooling ourselves thinking it was manageable. I think we were not realistically considering what can be done when your child has autism. We are stressed, so why wouldn’t she be? And when Jessica is stressed, she is not very cooperative. But you play the cards you have. We have done allot. We may not finish everything before the move, but we really have done so much! The only thing that really makes me sad is I don’t get to see Juergen much. I imagined us working side by side for a whole month. After nearly 21 years of marriage you would think I would grow tired of him. I miss him. I’m doing what I can do, and he is doing what he can do…but we are not side by side. I get the house and it’s really amazing. but I would have loved spending more time with Juergen this month. I have been unrealistic about Jessica’s needs, and spending time with Juergen. I’m so human and this is a super human job! I need grace, and only grace will carry us.

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