Monday, December 31, 2007

Happy New Year!

We are all a little sick. It's only 7pm and I'm going to bed early. I took the kids outside to light some fire sticks. Sarah wanted more, but I only bought 6. I'm sure we will be hearing the fire works going off in the streets until late tomorrow morning. I'm very glad we can never judge a life by a single event. Our New Year is very uneventful (at least it seems so). We will have to try harder next year! The interesting thing is New Years comes even when I don't pop a cork of Champaign. Time is funny like that...celebrated or uncelebrated time continues to fly by! God bless you and keep you safe! God meet your needs and even bless you with some of your wants. Most of all may you know Him personally. May you know the joy, peace, and hope He is able to give to you. May you be surrounded by people who love you.

A different kind of New Years

Juergen left for his parents house this morning. He was going to go last week, but the car was having engine problems. It took a few days to get the car fixed and He needed to be here on Sunday night so it made no sense for him to go last week. He will be gone most of the week. I hope he has an encouraging visit with his parents. I'm also hoping to have the strength and love to be a good single mom to 5 kids. Jessica is sick. She has kept me up most of last night. Thomas is also sick. This isn't going to be my "best" New Years. I'm already so tired my hands feel numb. I imagine God has extraordinary things ahead. I always look back on the year and realize it turned out to be so different then anything I could have thought or imagined. Some times it's harder then I had thought. But so often it's much better. I'm going to have to have a real New Years party some time in January with Juergen. Tonight I think I'm not even going to make it until midnight.

Saturday, December 29, 2007

Happy New Years card

Click to play new+years
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A home school family

Germany will not let us home school, but I thought this was really cute.

Nicole and I are hoping to build a house in Mexico at the same times as the music group The Newsboys. This is one of my favorite Newsboy songs (oldie goldie). Please help us build the house! Learn more about Global Tribe Here.

Friday, December 28, 2007

We got a wii for Christmas

We got a wii for Christmas. Juergen found this video, and it gives you an idea of where the wii is leading us. Cool!

Minister brings parable of talents alive in Ohio

HERE is a story about a pastor who gave $50 to each adult member of his church and $10 to each child and challenged them to double the money in 7 weeks, the profits going to missions. It's so cool what some of these people did!

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Our house for Mexico

Some good friends gave Nicole a hand made card with a donation for our Mexican house project. If you want to donate something towards the building materials for a house Nicole and I hope to help build in Mexico for a very poor family next summer, you can give money by pay pal. The donation link is on the side bar. Thank you! 100% of what you give will go to the house, not towards us.

Don't send a lame Starring You! eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

Man gives waitress $50,000

Man gives waitress $50,000

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

These are photos Philip took with his Christmas gift

You can click on the photo to make it larger.

A change of plans

Juergen waved good bye to all of us this morning. He was headed North to his parents for the rest of the week. The engine light went off about 20 minutes into the drive, so he turned around and came home. Germany has 2 Christmas days, so he will need to take the car into the shop tomorrow. Hopefully it's something small and easy to fix. He couldn't take any chances. It's a 1000 km trip. The good side is we got to have him home today. The bad side is his dad is really needing the help. It is very stressful caring for Juergens mom, as I'm sure you can imagine. Please pray he can travel safely tomorrow. It began to snow today. The roads should be clear, and he has very good tires but you never know.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Monday, December 24, 2007

a man and the bird's

The Man and the Birds by Paul Harvey

The man to whom I'm going to introduce you was not a scrooge, he was a kind decent, mostly good man. Generous to his family, upright in his dealings with other men. But he just didn't believe all that incarnation stuff which the churches proclaim at Christmas Time. It just didn't make sense and he was too honest to pretend otherwise. He just couldn't swallow the Jesus Story, about God coming to Earth as a man.

"I'm truly sorry to distress you," he told his wife, "but I'm not going with you to church this Christmas Eve." He said he'd feel like a hypocrite. That he'd much rather just stay at home, but that he would wait up for them. And so he stayed and they went to the midnight service.

Shortly after the family drove away in the car, snow began to fall. He went to the window to watch the flurries getting heavier and heavier and then went back to his fireside chair and began to read his newspaper. Minutes later he was startled by a thudding sound...Then another, and then another. Sort of a thump or a thud...At first he thought someone must be throwing snowballs against his living room window. But when he went to the front door to investigate he found a flock of birds huddled miserably in the snow. They'd been caught in the storm and, in a desperate search for shelter, had tried to fly through his large landscape window.

Well, he couldn't let the poor creatures lie there and freeze, so he remembered the barn where his children stabled their pony. That would provide a warm shelter, if he could direct the birds to it. Quickly he put on a coat, galoshes, tramped through the deepening snow to the barn. He opened the doors wide and turned on a light, but the birds did not come in. He figured food would entice them in. So he hurried back to the house, fetched bread crumbs, sprinkled them on the snow, making a trail to the yellow-lighted wide open doorway of the stable. But to his dismay, the birds ignored the bread crumbs, and continued to flap around helplessly in the snow. He tried catching them...He tried shooing them into the barn by walking around them waving his arms...Instead, they scattered in every direction, except into the warm, lighted barn.

And then, he realized that they were afraid of him. To them, he reasoned, I am a strange and terrifying creature. If only I could think of some way to let them know that they can trust me...That I am not trying to hurt them, but to help them. But how? Because any move he made tended to frighten them, confuse them. They just would not follow. They would not be led or shooed because they feared him.

"If only I could be a bird," he thought to himself, "and mingle with them and speak their language. Then I could tell them not to be afraid. Then I could show them the way to safe, the safe warm barn. But I would have to be one of them so they could see, and hear and understand." At that moment the church bells began to ring. The sound reached his ears above the sounds of the wind. And he stood there listening to the bells - Adeste Fidelis - listening to the bells pealing the glad tidings of Christmas. And he sank to his knees in the snow.

You can hear it here. It's called a man and the bird's. I just read this on another blog and thought it was great!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

A red wagon for Christmas

My Mom sent me this....

It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco.

The pastor of the church was looking over the crèche when he noticed

that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures.
He hurried outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon,

and in the wagon was the figure of the little baby Jesus.
So he walked up to the boy and said,

"Well, where did you get your passenger, my fine friend?"
The little boy replied, "I got Him at church."
"And why did you take Him?" asked the pastor?
The boy explained, "Well, about a week before Christmas,

I prayed to the little Lord Jesus, and I told Him if He would bring me

a red wagon for Christmas, I would give Him a ride around the block in it."


Monday, December 17, 2007


My sister sent me this. I'm not trying to promote McCain here. I just thought it was a good reminder of what some people have done so that we might be free. They showed great courage and sacrifice. We should always remember that courage.

"As you may know, I spent five and one half years as a prisoner of war during the Vietnam War. In the early years of our imprisonment, the NVA kept us in solitary confinement or two or three to a cell. In 1971 the NVA moved us from these conditions of isolation into large rooms with as many as 30 to 40 men to a room.
This was, as you can imagine, a wonderful change and was a direct result of the efforts of millions of Americans on behalf of a few hundred POWs
10,000 miles from home.
One of the men who moved into my room was a young man named Mike Christian. Mike came from a small town near Selma, Alabama He didn't wear a pair of shoes until he was 13 years old. At 17, he enlisted in the US Navy. He later earned a commission by going to Officer Training School Then he became a Naval Flight Officer and was shot down and captured in
1967. Mike had a keen and deep appreciation of the opportunities this country and our military provide for people who want to work and want to succeed.
As part of the change in treatment, the Vietnamese allowed some prisoners to receive packages from home. In some of these packages were handkerchiefs, scarves and other items of clothing. Mike got himself a bamboo needle. Over a period of a couple of months, he created an American flag and sewed on the inside of his shirt.
Every afternoon, before we had a bowl of soup, we would hang Mike's shirt on the wall of the cell and say the Pledge of Allegiance. I know the Pledge may not seem the most important part of our day now, but I can assure you that in that stark cell it was indeed the most important and meaningful event
One day the Vietnamese searched our cell, as they did periodically, and discovered Mike's shirt with the flag sewn inside, and removed it. That evening they returned, opened the door of the cell, and for the benefit of all of us, beat Mike Christian severely for the next couple of hours. Then, they opened the door of the cell and threw him in. We cleaned him up as well as we could.
The cell in which we lived had a concrete slab in the middle on which we slept. Four naked light bulbs hung in each corner of the room. As I said, we tried to clean up Mike as well as we could. After the excitement died down, I looked in the corner of the room, and sitting there beneath that dim light bulb with a piece of red cloth, another shirt and his bamboo needle, was my friend, Mike Christian. He was sitting there with his eyes almost shut from the beating he had received, making another American flag."

Saturday, December 15, 2007

I'm breaking my fast

After 30 days I've decided to break my fast. I've had a head ache for a week and I just don't have the energy to parent my 5 kids any more. I'm getting grumpy and I don't think the fast is helping me get closer to God anymore. I think the first 10 days were very good for me spiritually, but the past 20 days I just did it because I said I would. Now I think I've got to break it. Sorry if that becomes a stumbling block to anyone else trying to do this too. I find the lack of protein very hard to deal with. Maybe if I didn't need to race around all day cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc it would be do-able . As it is, I'm glad I hang in there as long as I did. The past week I've been really grumpy. I am very short with the kids. I am not being a good parent, so I feel like it's time to stop the fast. Maybe I'll fast again 40 days before Easter. Next time I'm going to keep eating meat and just fast sugar.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The Christmas party

I took Jessica and Sarah to the Christmas party at Jessica's school today. It began with a one hour church service. Jessica was pretty restless and basically wanted to leave the whole time. She does not enjoy sitting in a crowd of people. At one point in the service 4 very large paintings were brought on the stage. Jessica looked like she wanted to drag me to the stage to look at these paintings. I guess she saw them made. I did go see the paintings, but I waited until after the service. I'm sure no one in the room appreciated these paintings of the Christmas story more then Jessica. She got excited to see Jesus. It would have been nice if she could remain polite in the service. Sarah was very well behaved. But people were never "polite" around Jesus. Later I asked Jessica's teacher to ask Jessica what she would like to get for Christmas. At first Jessica wrote she wanted good food to eat. Then she wrote she didn't want any gifts because she could not say thank you (Jessica can not talk). I told Jessica she could write me a Christmas story, that would be thanks enough. She wrote that she would try. I think she is very sad she can not talk. I'm sad too. To hear her voice would be the best gift I could ever get! Just to hear her sweet voice.

Monday, December 10, 2007


Juergen was sick most of the weekend. Today I'm feeling tired and not really too healthy. Jessica was not too happy at school today either. It's so cold and dark here. I'm just not a fan of winter. I said it once, and I'll say it again...I wish I was in Thailand!

Saturday, December 08, 2007

New everything...and just before Christmas

I'm sort of use to Juergen going out and buying everything he wants about 2 weeks before Christmas. This year his shopping habit have taken a different direction. Our dishwasher, cloths dryer, and stove all broke (no kidding). He would make the trip to the appliance store for a new dishwasher, then two days later the cloths dryer broke. We had wet cloths hanging everywhere. It was a disaster! So Juergen went to get a new cloths dryer. Then the very next day it was the stove. So we have a limited budget for Christmas. Everyone will get a gift, but not the whole toy store! They only need one gift because they all have so much anyway! I shopped today for the top idem on their lists. I also had to buy Nicole new cloths. I bought her new shoes and jeans 2 months ago. Her shoes are already too small, and the jeans are 2 inches too short. She now wears a size 43 shoe (I think that is a US size 10). She is almost 5 feet 10 inches tall. She needs to stop growing because it's getting impossible to find her cloths.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

My fast

Juergen brought home some Chinese food for dinner. I wasn't going to eat any because of my fast...but I gave in. I eat some fried rice, and won ton soup. It was mostly legal food (rice and veggies) but also included some meat and fat. It tasted great I must admit. OK, I will go back to my fast tomorrow. It was day 20 and there are 20 more days until Christmas. I guess if your a legalistic kind of person, you are shocked I eat meat and some fat. I'm not legalistic. I've been very good for 20 days, I'm just human and that is why I needed a Savior in the first place!

The Kings 80th birthday.

Philip and Thomas are both from Thailand. Here is a picture of them wearing yellow last year in Thailand. We all wish we were there now! Happy birthday to the longest ruling king in the present world. He is a very good king who loves and helps his people.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

David Bowie & Bing Crosby - Little Drummer Boy

I saw this on another blog and thought it was great! I love this song because it is about bringing what we have to Jesus...He never asks for more.

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Friday, November 30, 2007

Day 30 of my 30 days of Thank's

I guess if you read the past 30 days of posts they are not really what most people would expect if one was to give thanks for things. I do thank God for my home, family, friends and all the good gifts He has given me. I'm in a point of transition in my life. My mother in law is dying. This I guess makes me really think about what direction I want the last 20 or so years of my life to take. I can not say I'm sorry with the way it has already gone (my life that is). I've had a very interesting and blessed life. Still, I'm inching up on the big 50Th birthday (I just turned 46) and it makes me think I've really got to set in motion any and all real changes I'm going to want to take before I just wake up and realize my life is over. It does fly by so fast! What does that mean? I could not tell you. I only know I'm going to fix my direction and I'm thinking allot about where I want to end up, and how I plan to get there! The good thing is Juergen feels the very same way. I probably already thanked God for Juergen, but I just could never thank him enough! Never!

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Day 29 ?

Today I am thanking God for potato's. I'm fasting meat and I've been so hungry for protein. Nicole told me potato's have protein. I baked some potato's and eat them warm and plain. To me they tasted like heaven! I don't really know if they have protein, but they hit the spot! The fast has made me very creative. I am full of creative energy. I'm applying that energy to one of my favorite passions...adoption. my first adoption slide show has been a real hit, and I just finished my 2ND slide show. I will probably be loading it to you tube tonight or tomorrow. I feel a fire really burning in my heart. I praise God for this energy...even if it did cost me my chocolate!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Day 29

My oh my, it's already the end of the month! I'm still fasting and I am Thanking God the time is flying by. I would just love to eat a steak!
This video is for Nicole. It's about African oil crops. Nicole is interested in Agricultural science.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Day 27 of Thanks

Well the day is nearly over and I am just getting around to posting this. I've been pretty shaken up today. Sarah has a friend in the kindergarten. She had this little boy over to play last week. The mother of this boy told me today that she has been beaten by her husband. If fact it's been happening for a long time. He put her in the hospital this weekend. She is now living in a women's safe house. She will probably be moving soon. You know stuff like this happens, but I don't often look into the scared eyes of someone who has had to leave everything...and just run away with her kids. What a rotten world! I'm so grateful for the husband God has blessed me with. I'm also glad I took the time to meet this women. It was actually Nicole that met her first. She just walked with her and her kids at the Saint Martians day lantern festival. Nicole is so compassionate and loving. I hope I can help her, I gave her my number and told her I am here. I think it's her plan to move, so please pray for her. I'm not going to use her name here. God knows her name. Some times I get blown away by how greatly God has blessed hard things are for some...and how blessed I am.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Day 26 0f 30 days of Thanks

Is it already the end of the month? Wow! Where did the time go? I have Sarah in my lap as I type this. She had swimming today and is very tired. I saw a house in another town I want to look at (crazy). I find it very beautiful and near friends that seem like family to me. I think the older I get the more I feel the need for family. If I can not live near family, I want my closest friends near me. As it is, I only see my friends a few times per year. I can not tell if it's the house I am interested in or just closer friends...old friends. Does that make any sense? Anyway, I'm going to look at a house on Friday. I'm sure Juergen will pull a veto on buying a new house. So it's just looking, and trying to figure out the whole need to be more connected. Today I thank God He really does hold my future in his hands, and can give us wisdom about every thing (big and small). It really hard sometimes to tell if these are my desires, or the desires God is planting in my heart to lead me.

My new adoption video

Sunday, November 25, 2007

day 25

Today I got to help Philip and Thomas in their AWANA group. They do a great job helping the kids learn about God and the Bible. I really enjoyed my time. I'm sure I'll be helping more often.
I'm also making an adoption Christmas slide show. I should be finished with it today. I just started making it yesterday, but the response from adoptive parents has been great and I am almost finished. It will be posted on our adoption blog, and youtube.
Nicole and I are hoping to travel to Mexico next summer to build a house for a poor family. Nicole has been very busy earning the money to pay for her own flight and expenses. We also hope to raise $5000 to pay for the building materials for one house. If you would like to help pay for a house for a poor family in Mexico then you can do that by using the paypal donation on the side bar. All the money will go towards building materials. If you would like to read more about the Mexican trips, or join a team look HERE. Today I just thank God for new energy.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Day 24

I'm still fasting meat,fat, and sweets. I am finding it harder and harder to fast. I have to cook for the family, and everything smells so good. Christmas seems a million years away! Oh well!
I do feel my creative self coming out! I painted with the kids today. I'm making an adoption video that's going to be posted to you tube when it's finished (God willing). I use to be a creative person. I thank God I'm finding my creative self again.

Friday, November 23, 2007


I just ordered the book The Complete Idiot's Guide to Acupuncture and Acupressure, and also , A Kid Just Like Me: A Father and Son Overcome the Challenges
of ADD. I think Philip is ADD/AD. Someone wrote me about the book A Kid Just Like Me. I've read that Acupunture is a very good treatment for ADD/AD and autism. Somehow I need to get Philip and Jessica back into acupunture. We will figure this out.

Day 23

Philip had an MRI today. I thank God he doesn't have a brain tumor. I'm so tired. I didn't sleep last night. I should not allow fear to rob me of my peace. I day dream of going to Thailand. It is so cold and dark here. I know 3 months of sunshine and sea air would be so good for Jessica and me. I wish I could just go away. I even looked at Chinese medical clinics that do Acupuncture Therapy. I could not take the kids out of school. They do tongue acupuncture in Thailand. I know that sounds just awful, but it has good effect on autistic people. Jessica had normal acupuncture for awhile but it's very expensive here in Germany. Also, Germany does not have the good sunshine that seems to do a world of good for Jessica. I would love to take Philip and Jessica to Thailand for some treatment. There is no way this is happening...but it's what I'm dreaming of. I feel like it would really help them both to take long walks on the beach, play hours in the water, soak up the sunshine, and get daily acupuncture. I wonder if I would be allowed to move there as an American for say 9 months and just home schools the kids. Dream, dream...
Anyway, thank God Philip does not have a brain tumor.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Nicole's art

Here is Nicole working on some pictures that will go in Juergen's advent calender. We have 5 kids and each will contribute 5 pictures each.

Day 22

It's the oddest day of the year if you are an American living in a foreign country. You know in your mind it's a major holiday back home, but it's just the same old same old here. After all, Thanksgiving is all about the pilgrims and Indians. Why should Germans care about that? So I am going to bake pumpkin pie with my kids even if I can not eat it. I'm going to cook turkey soup that has potatoes and corn in it. They won't get all the traditional stuff, but some of the traditional flavors. There won't be foot ball games, or Uncles, Aunts and grandparents. My kids have homework, swimming lessons, and drum lessons today. It is like living in a different planet, while I know that today is so special over there! I thank God for the Thanksgivings past. For the black olives, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry sauce, and deviled eggs. I thank God for the love I have shared with my family, and the love my own children experience in different but special ways. Happy Thanksgiving America. Have a safe and blessed weekend.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Day 21

My fast is still going good. Juergen brought home some Turkish food last night. Boy did it smell good, but I didn't taste it. I can not say God is really teaching me anything specific. I guess the best thing I can say is I'm generally encouraged. I was feeling depressed before I started the fast. I'm sad about Juergens mom, but generally I'm pretty encouraged. I'm not sure how much food has to do with moods, but maybe it does make a difference to fast. Thank God I'm feeling good! We don't walk by feelings but they do have a strong effect on our lives.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Day 20

It was a long day so far. I took Philip and Sarah for a doctor’s visit. Both had to have shots. Philip had to get his blood drawn. I have a pile of visits from specialists to go to. We are trying to figure out why Philip can not learn.
I'm having a battle with Thomas over homework. It took him hours to finish his homework today. He basically plays Lego instead. I told him I may need to get rid of the Lego. I don't really want to do that. He already lost his TV & computer time this week. The weather is very cold outside. He would really have a hard time (and so would I) if he lost his Lego. Both boys are going through a challenging time right now. If it's only going to get worse I don't want to know. We did get the homework done before Papa got home, so the Lego is safe for now. I thank God for the end to a very long day! I thank God for the grace to get it done. I thank God most days are much nicer then this!

Monday, November 19, 2007

Day 19

I took Philip, Thomas, and Sarah to see the dentist today. They all had cavities. I also need to take Philip and Thomas to the orthodontist. They will both need braces soon. On the way home the boys were running ahead. They crossed the street, and I had to grab Sarah before she got hit by an approaching car. She was mad at me, because I had held her. She pulled her glove off and gave me the finger. Then she said the "F" word at me. I was shocked. She did not learn this from me. I would wish she learned it at school, but I know it was her brothers who taught my sweet 4 year old this vial behavior. I was so mad! I took away the kids TV and computer time for a whole week. I'm still shocked and it's 3 hours later. I guess I'm glad to know what the boys are saying to each other. They don't talk like this around me. They do learn this at school. I can not control what they learn at school, but I can try to teach them what is right and wrong at home. It is very hard. You know we don't have home schooling or Christian schools here. Actually there is a Christian school a half hour away, but it would mean my driving 2 hours per day, and only Thomas could go there. Philip is now in special education and they would not accept him. I’m glad what was “hidden” is now in the light so I can deal with it. I’m sorry they say the dirty words…but I am thankful we can at least try to deal with this issue. How do you handle this problem?

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Day 18

I'm very tired both physically and emotionally. It took me 6 hours in very heavy traffic to drive home. I had an amazing time. I was crying nearly the entire way there. I felt so small and completely with out a clue of what I would say, or what I could do. It seems like that powerlessness is a pretty normal way to feel when someone you love is dying. I prayed the entire way to Juergen's parent’s house. It was so amazing, the peace and joy God gave me as I arrived there. I spent a wonderful day sitting with Waltrud. She was very awake. She could not speak, but you could tell she understands most everything you say. Jessica, my 16 year old autistic daughter also can not speak. It seemed very easy for me to communicate with Waltrud. I also observed many small things that could be done to make her situation a little better. Like I said, you just want power to help...that is what we all want. We had a really good time together. She even wrote a very short letter to Jessica. I saw she could move her hand very well. I got some paper and pens. I let her choose the color of pen she wanted. She chooses orange, Jessica’s favorite color. I had brought an orange flower with me, and told her it was from Jessica. Then I thought she would scribble a picture, but she wrote in German, "Dear Jessica...Your Mama will have dinner with me today". Amazing! Juergen and I had prayed that she would be awake enough to talk to, and she was! I'm hoping to be able to make the trip again in a few weeks. I hope this was not good bye. I don't think it was. I am so grateful to God for his help, wisdom, and peace. I am especially thankful for what I have learned over the past 16 years about loving and respecting someone who can not speak but still has so much to say. Thank God for my Jessica!

BTW, I did manage to stick with my fast. I eat one small bowl of soup that had some meat in it. Richard (Juergens 80 year old dad) had made the soup and I did not want to refuse to eat it. I felt that would not have been the correct thing to do. Other wise, I eat no meat, sugar, or butter.

Friday, November 16, 2007

Day 17

I'm actually posting this a day early. God willing I will be driving 5 hours North to Juergen's parents house. I hope to spend the weekend with His parents. I know that if God doesn't heal my mother in law(MIL) this will probably be my goodbye visit. I guess courage is what I need to make this visit. I have no real word from God about Waltrud. I'm really praying to hear Gods word on this subject. I keep praying for her to be healed. I know most everyone else is just trying to prepare themselves for her death. I will accept that if I really know it's the will of God. Until the time he gives me the peace to stop praying...I'm just going to keep praying. It's very true we all must die, and sickness is a very big part of this fallen world (believe me I understand first born child has autism). Still, what is even more true to me is the goodness of God, and his very real power to heal. Even if I do not see his power to heal, I believe it is real. I don't know if God will exercise his healing in Waltruds life, but I can ask. I don't get any indication from God that he wants me to stop I will keep asking.
As far as thanks, I remember the first time I met Juergens mom. It was just before Juergen and I became engaged. I was so nervous I could hardly talk. I wanted her to like me, and accept me. I loved her son so deeply. She was so wonderful. She did everything she could to make me feel welcome. She also told Juergen very soon that I was "the one". Thanks is not a strong enough word to express how gratful I am for my Mother in Law. I am so thankful for her...and very thankful for the chance I have to hold her hand and kiss her cheek and tell her to her face how much I love her! Please pray for me. I need the prayer.

Day 16 of Thanks and day 2 of fast

Let me see your many of you like winter? Not me! The country is covered in a heavy frost. I'm going to need to scrap the ice off my car windows if I want to go anywhere. There isn't any food in the house. This does not bother me much, but the kids will notice if they don't get lunch. Oh, a house on the beach in Thailand would be such a dream! Today I thank God I have a house, a warm coat, warm shoes, and a car. I am not happy about the weather, but I am so grateful for the protection I have from the cold.
I did good on my first day of fasting. I felt very tired. I even fell asleep on the sofa for about a half hour yesterday after noon. Last night I slept like a rock. I think better sleep maybe a side effect of this fast. If you just can not give up sugar right now, try giving up TV or something else that drains your time. Read your Bible and make extra time to pray. And pray like a child. Don't try to negotiate a deal with God, or tell him the logic of your request...ask him for what you want in very simple terms like a child asks a father.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Day 15 of thanks

Today I am beginning my 40 day fast. Normally when you fast, you don't announce it to the whole world. I don't want to seem overly religious with this fast. I guess I am writing it down as a way of teaching about this spiritual discipline and also for some extra accountability. I need the accountability, 40 days is a long time to be "good". I'm not doing a total fast (I have 5 kids and I am not crazy...I need to be able to function). I am not going to eat sugar, chocolate, meat, or fat and wine. I actually don't drink so the wine is just on the list for those who do drink. I can eat bread, fruit and vegetables. I can eat eggs,milk, plain yogurt and tee. I am also allowing myself to continue to drink my two cups of morning coffee. I know in a few days I will probably give up coffee anyway, but I'm telling myself It is OK to have it if I really want it. After a few days of fasting coffee probably won't taste good to me, I just know that. This morning I ate plain oatmeal with some milk.
What am I thanking God for today? I guess I thank him for what will take place in my life over the next 40 days. I can not see the fruit of this fact my flesh does not like to be locked up in a cage! By faith, I thank God for the fruits of obedience. I hope to break this fast on December 24Th, Christmas . I guess my Christmas will be that much sweeter because I waited for it to come!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Day 14

Today I want to thank God for my good friend Inkeri. She stopped by this morning to bring me a gift (tee and chocolate). I will eat the chocolate today because I begin my 40 day fast tomorrow. I told her how sad I was about Juergens mom. We remembered a good friend of ours who died far to early (she was only 39 years old I think). Inkeri felt like she should go see this friend but she really did not want to. It was so hard. After cleaning her whole house and anything else she could think of she went to see our friend. She said that it was in a way good. When a person is dying heaven is very near. You can feel it. It is very good not to always be thinking of this world, but to also have a mind towards heaven. After the visit, she felt a strange peace. I will be going to see Juergen's mom this weekend (God willing). I do not look forward to saying good bye. What Inkeri had to say helps me. The chocolate also helps! Thank God for good friends!

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Day 13 of 30 days of thank's

Today I was thinking of our time in China. We traveled to China last April to adopt Sarah. When we were there we had to exchange our money (Euro) into Chinese money (Yuan). The problem came when we needed to return home. I had a pocket full of Yuan and I knew I would not be able to change the money back into Euro. There are too many problems with counterfeit Yuan. European banks will not exchange Chinese money. So at the airport I gave my taxi driver a big tip. I also bought an over priced tea set at the airport. It didn't matter to me. I either used the money, or would have it sitting in my desk useless! God gives us all gifts and talents. We can not use these gifts in heaven. It is all worthless in that other country. Now is the time we must all use what we have...even if it means over tipping a cab driver. I love what Erma Bombeck wrote, "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope I haven't got a single bit of talent left and could say "I used everything you gave me". Today is a gift and I thank God for today. I pray I can use it all!

Monday, November 12, 2007

day 12 I thank God I have been so blessed.

Last night Juergen and I were talking about his mom. Jessica was in the room but we did not realize she was listening to us. All of a sudden she sits up and begins to cry. I think she realized her dearly loved Oma was dying. She would not receive comfort. I had to let her go cry for awhile, and then hold her for an hour before she could fall asleep.
This morning I was looking at the candles on the table. I looked also at the cute paper chains the kids made yesterday, and the advent calendar I hung up for Juergen. It will be Sarah's first Christmas and I would like it to be special for her. It's hard. I do not feel like a festival of lights and joy. I want to put on sack cloth and rub my face with ashes. I remember when Jessica first got sick with autism. I wanted to sit on the sofa and cry all day. This began to affect Nicole. It really made her feel afraid. I had to be careful, and control my emotions around her. I had to cry only during the nap times. Then I found myself crying so much, I was lying in a puddle of my own tears. One thing that brings me comfort right now is the knowledge that you never feel loss for what you never had. Some people leave tiny foot prints in your life, Juergens mom will leave a very deep hole. It hurts because we were all very blessed. I thank God I have been so blessed.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Nativity Fast

I've had it in my heart to fast for 40 days. Have you ever heard of a Nativity Fast? This is a 40 day fast just before Christmas (Nov.15-Dec 24). It is not a total fast, just no meat, wine, sweets, eggs, or oil. I guess that leaves plain bread, fruits and vegtables. I think I would like to try this. Anyone want to fast with me? Leave me a comment. I have a heavey heart because Juergen's mom is sick. I don't think it will be so hard right now to do this. I think I will be turning down all the Christmas parties. I guess it will also save me from the 8 pound weight gain most people have from Thanksgiving to Christmas. Germany doesn't have the Thanksgiving feast Americans have. I guess that would be something to consider in the USA?

Day 11

Today I want to thank God of the simple hours I spend with my kids doing art projects. For example this afternoon we made paper chains, and drew pictures for Juergens advent calendar. It was nice to have all of them sitting around one table creating good things for someone else. It doesn't happen everyday, but I love when it happens

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Caring for the care givers

My mom sent me these 2 links, information on helping people who are caring for the dying. Juergen's mom is slipping away very fast. I would like to trust for her healing, but I need to accept her dying. It has a very strong effect on the whole family. The grief is so real and increases as her condition continues to get worse. I hope that some of you will please hold the Heymann family up in prayer. It affects all of us, but especially Juergen’s dad Richard and his brother Wolfgang. I say Wolfgang because he lives right there and unfortunately needs to carry a great deal of the burden involved in arranging for his mom’s care. We are all very sad at the thought of losing her, but Wolfgang has the added burden of details. I'm sure it is all overwhelming. We need Gods grace.
Link one

Link two

Day 10

It is very cold and dark out side. There is a storm hitting Germany. We will get a cold rain today, other places will get snow. Juergen drove to his parent’s house this morning. His siblings are all spending weeks at a time with their mom. Juergen so far has only spent a few weekends. That must not seem like much to the sibs, but to our family it's been a great sacrifice. I think Juergen will be spending Christmas and New Years with his parents. It's really all the time he has, work is so stressful. This whole process of losing Juergen’s mom is very hard on everyone. I don't really think it's the time that is hard; it's the loss of her. It is like a cold dark storm hitting the land. It is really very bitter. But I thank God today for the hope that rests very deep in my heart. I love Juergen, and his whole family. I pray God holds them all up. I pray they can serve both of Juergen’s parents in this very hard time. I thank God for the hope I have that this is not the end; it is just a difficult transition. Heaven is real and I hope we all will meet there and this storm will be long forgotten!

Friday, November 09, 2007

Day 9

Today I want to Thank God for Sarah’s Kindergarten place. I started looking for a kindergarten for Sarah a little late. All the places seemed to be taken. I put our names on a list at the school I wanted her to go to. It was a small kindergarten in our neighborhood. There are only two small groups in the school. Very personal, very nice. It looked like we would need to wait until next fall for a place in the school. Sarah did not want to wait. When all the others began school this fall, she cried to go too. I walked over to the "other" kindergarten. The big and impersonal one. The one Philip went to for a very short time. I didn't like it then. I wanted something better for Sarah. The interview went wonderfully. I thought they got a new director because everything seemed so much nicer, warmer, and friendlier. Sarah loved it. So we signed her up. She goes very happily every day. Today I thank God I was willing to look again.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Day 8 of thanks

Today I want to thank God for His Holy Spirit. Juergen and I prayed together last night for his mom, and dad and the whole family. His mom continues to grow weaker and weaker. It causes us so much sadness and grief. I can not imagine how hard it is for Juergens dad (Richard). He is an old man. He should be taking naps, and having his wife (who is 9 years younger) fixing him lunch. Instead he has to feed her (that is the simple part). The hard part is watching the amazing wonderful women die. She can know longer sit up in bed. She can hardly speak. Most of the time, she does not even respond to your words. I think it must be very hard to be there, and watch the women you love slip away. I know he is very sad. I also know that it is the Spirit of God that can comfort us when we are over come with grief. The Holy Spirit can cover us all with peace in this very hard time. Jesus said he would not leave us as orphans, but he would send us a comforter. I am very grateful for my comforter.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Day 7

Today I want to thank God for the miracle of adoption. As many of you know adoption is a very big part of my life. When I was 12 years old I asked Jesus to come into my life and be my Savior. I believe it was at this time I was "born again" spiritually. The Bible says I became a child of God. I guess all of us are children of God. Some of us are lost, others have found a way home (the way home is through Jesus, he is the door to God). I was in one sense adopted spiritually into one big family. I've felt adopted too. I have brothers and sisters all over the world. People, who also know our Father, people who share the same hope & love. My heavenly Father has also instructed me. He cared about my character. He wanted me to share his heart.
Juergen and I have adopted 3 children, Philip, Thomas, and Sarah. It has been such a great honor to be their parent. Sure it is allot of work at times. All children are work. To me it feels like being the Fairy God Mother in Cinderella. They were in rags, and now they can go to the ball. I will never doubt I was able to make a real difference in this world. God has given me this gift called adoption. First He adopted me and raised me with love and discipline. Now I have this ability to do the same thing. For me the greatest honor would be introducing them to our heavenly Father. I will not always be with them, but they can always have a family.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Day 6

Today I was sitting on the sofa in my living room under the orange hand crochet blanket my mom made for Jessica and I decided I should thank God for orange stuff. It is fall, and it just would not seem so warm and wonderful without orange. I love the red and orange leaves that cover the trees on the mountains near our home. I love the warm orange candles that are all over our house. I love pumpkin soup and pumpkin pie. I love to stare at the orange fish in my fish tank; it sort of makes up for not having a fireplace. I love the fresh oranges that flood the market this time of year. I could go on and on. Orange isn’t my favorite color, but Fall is my favorite season. Fall just would not be fall without all the wonderful warm orange stuff. I thank God for his warmth and his love.

"Speak tenderly to them. Let there be kindness in your face, in your eyes, in your smile, in the warmth of your greeting. Always have a cheerful smile. Don't only give your care, but give your heart as well."
- Mother Teresa

Monday, November 05, 2007

Day 5 of Thanks

Today I want to thank God for my friend Cindy. We met about 20+ years ago in Minnesota. She has always been the one who can make me laugh. I also love that she is a really serious Christian. We can talk about the "deep things of God". Last night we talked on the phone for about an hour. We talked about healing. Juergen mom is very sick. The Dr.'s are starting to say she only has a few months. Juergen will visit her again in the North of Germany this weekend. I want Juergen to see her as much as he can, so I'm not complaining. Still, it is stressful having him gone every other weekend. It is also stressful thinking about losing her. I believe God heals, but I know he does not always heal. It is a challenge to my faith to keep praying for a miracle, and still prepare to say goodbye. I can talk to Cindy about this. She isn't going to give me some simple answer. She also struggles with trying to understand this "healing thing". I wish she didn't live so far away, but I know where ever she is and I am, we will always be friends.
Cindy told me about John G Lake. I ordered some books about his teaching on healing.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Day 4

Today I thank God for His word (the Bible). Philip, Thomas and Sarah worked on their scripture memory verses for AWANA. They do not have much faith in God (yet). I am hoping that in time faith will grow as they plant the word in their hearts and minds. It has made a very big difference over the past two weeks as we have made a real strong effort to help the boys learn their verses. Before they showed no motivation, and we did not push it. Thomas especially never wanted to go to AWANA. Then we made a strong effort to help them learn those verses. Now Thomas wants to go to church. I think he was just ashamed of not knowing his verses. I love it that they all want to go to church. I pray they really walk into faith...that they find themselves believing in God when before they did not. The word of God is a seed time it will reap a harvest!

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Day 3

I'm sitting accross my desk from my 2nd daughter Nicole. I could not thank God enough for this wonderful person! She is such a gift and I thank God for her kind and loving heart.

Friday, November 02, 2007

30 days of thanks!

I am going to join in 30 days of thanks. How about you?

Nov. 1- I thank God for my husband who took an extra day off. We have a 4 day weekend! We are only working around the house but it feels so good to get things done!

Nov. 2- I'm thanking God today that Sarah is German. Read my blog post HERE.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007


Did I tell you someone stole pumpkins from our yard? We had pumpkins in our yard waiting to be carved, and a paper skeleton hanging up. Halloween is something new to Germany. I like to put some decorations up so the kids know they can come trick or treating at our house. Anyway, on Sunday morning (my birthday) I noticed most my decorations were gone. They didn't take anything with much value, I just hated they took anything at all. I find it very disrespectful.

Today is Halloween. The kids have a week of fall vacation. Philip and Thomas were outside playing with two friends. They come to the front door with a plastic bag, and a hair. They think the hair belongs to the pumpkin thief, so they were going to place it in the small plastic bag as evidence. They have been watching Monk DVD's. Then they told me they were going to hunt for more clues. I know they will crack this case wide open!

Monday, October 29, 2007

Some of Jessica's writing

Jessica is 16 years old and has autism. She can not talk. She is very sweet and we love her very much!

A Fall Poem
By Jessica Heymann

The Fall is eating away at Summer time

Leaves' colors are fading

Kites are rising all around

Children resent the rain
Great scary ghostly spook at Halloween

frightens children anyway

Halfhearted a storm is touching the house

no one wants to go outside

boldly the forest resists the wind

Frau Holle makes the bed(*) in a hurry
(*) Grim fairy tale where 'Frau Holle' making the bed causes snow on the earth.

A Scary Story
By Jessica Heymann

When the world was still know for amazing events this story took place. One day two brothers went through the colorfull forest fresh and cheerfully. A cool breeze touched their faces. Surprised they looked around. Silently a black fog moved by them. Dark shapes magically appeared out of the fog. The two brothers were shaking aspen leaves und asked the figures what this would mean. "Today is women's garbage day. All evil women meet here and become alive for one night." Quietly the brothers whispered and wanted to flee. But an invisible power held them back. Forebodingly they realized that there were coffins laying in the forest. Now they realized that these were ghosts. The only solution was to stand still and wait until this dreaded party came to an end. A great dance began. Shining lanterns accompanied the debacle. Full of fear the brothers wanted to dance too but they were too tired. Pale they stepped into a coffin and fell asleep. When it all was over the women layed down again. Two found their coffins occupied and fled. Since then they wander aimlessly through the world and put strange ideas into lazy and idle minds

Juergen and Nicole spent the first part of the weekend visiting his parents. Juergens mom has 3 brain tumors. She is very sick and it is getting really bad. I would appreciate your prayers for this wonderful woman (Waldtrud). They spent some time reading the diary of Juergens dad Richard. He is almost 80 years old, and survived World War 2. Richard’s father stood up agents the Nazis and was murdered for it. His oldest surviving brother (the oldest brother was killed in a farming accident) was sent to Russia and landed in a concentration camp. Richard would have had the responsibility of running the family farm. He prayed for his brother to return from the war so he could go to school (his dream). His brother had the last name Heymann (a Jewish name). A Jewish Dr thought he was Jewish, and she took care of him. She told the authorities he was no use to them, and should be sent home. So by Gods grace the oldest brother of Richard returned home 4 years before the other solders did. Many of those solders never returned home. This happened because of a Jewish Dr, and because of the family name. Juergen asked his dad if they are Jewish. The family had to prove they were not Jewish in order to keep there land. They have a family tree going back to the 1800's. We love Israel and would consider it an honor to be Jewish, but it looks like we are not. At least not on Juergens side of the family. My family name Moreno is the name the Jews took when they were forced out of Spain during the Spanish inquisition. I've heard a great number of people with the name Moreno are actually Jews that were displaced. So maybe this love I have for the children of Abraham is really a love for my own people?

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Thomas' memory verse was
1Corth 15:4

"that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures"

Philip learned 1 John 4:14
"the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world"

Happy birthday to me!!!

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Bible Heros

Tomorrow the kids have AWANA at the Grace Baptist Church. Tomorrow the kids are suppose to dress as their favorite Bible Hero. My boys are just starting to learn the characters in the Bible. Philip knows much more of the Bible then Thomas. I don't think either one of them would say they have a Bible Hero (yet). To be honest, I make them go to church. They don't believe in God yet. I do have hope. I didn't accept Christ as my savior until I was 12 years old. So today I just assigned them Hero's. Thomas is going to dress as Joseph in his multi colored coat, and Philip will go as Jesus. Why these characters? Because the costumes where easy to make! They also need to know who they are dressed like. I spent time with them teaching them something about Joseph and his 11 brothers, and Jesus. I also helped them learn their Bible memory verses. Thomas was so proud. I think he really likes AWANA but is ashamed to go because he never knows his verse. Sarah had an angels costume, so I'm going to dress her in that. I once remember walking through the old town of Heidelberg at Christmas time. There were allot of cute angels figures in the shop windows. I said very firmly to Jessica angels do not really look like that. They are heavenly warriors, very powerful and strong. I am wondering if I have a Bible Hero. I love Paul. How would you dress as Paul? Maybe wear very heavey glasses because he could not see well? Do you have a Bible Hero?

Friday, October 26, 2007

Heavy Blanket

Last night Juergen had a meeting at church to attend. After I got the kids to bed, I listened to a sermon on-line by Derek Prince. The topic was worship. He said his wife Ruth was in a worship service once. She had her hands raised towards God. Her hands suddenly felt really heavy. Derek said to her that is the presence of God, and she should just take it in. When I was in America, I had purchased the material to make a heavy therapy blanket for Jessica. It has these long tubes filled with sand and lead. My Mom sewed the tubes into a blanket that weighs about 16 pounds (7.5 kg). When you are wrapped in this blanket it feels like a warm firm hug. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but eventually you relax and feel very safe in this blanket. Earlier this past summer I had heard Reinhard Bonnke preach live from Africa. It was telecast live on God TV. After he preached he began to pray. I sat at my desk (I was watching this on my computer) and prayed too. I all of a sudden felt the urge to grab a blanket and pull it over my head. I did this and began to pray "God, I ask you to cover our family like a blanket with your protection and love". No more then 30 seconds after I pray this prayer I heard Bonnke (live from Africa) pray "and God cover us like a blanket with your love and protection". Wow! The presence of God is heavy like Jessica’s heavy blanket. God desires to wrap his strength around us and hold us in a firm hug.

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

San Diego

I am trying to keep in touch with my friends in San Diego. Cindy is OK so far. She sent me this link that has the latest news.

Derek Prince

I was listening to Derek Prince preach on tribulation this morning. If you don't know Derek Prince you should try to discover some of his wisdom. He died in 2003 but thank God we have him on video tape. He quoted the book of Revelations, they over came by the blood of the lamb and the power of their testimony. I know that we do not want to hear about persecution or trouble. More and more I hear people that want only blue sky's and green grass. I sense in my spirit we will have trouble ahead. We need to hold fast to what can not be shaken. God is our rock. We as believers should not be shallow and afraid. We should sink our roots deep into God.