day 12 I thank God I have been so blessed.

Last night Juergen and I were talking about his mom. Jessica was in the room but we did not realize she was listening to us. All of a sudden she sits up and begins to cry. I think she realized her dearly loved Oma was dying. She would not receive comfort. I had to let her go cry for awhile, and then hold her for an hour before she could fall asleep.
This morning I was looking at the candles on the table. I looked also at the cute paper chains the kids made yesterday, and the advent calendar I hung up for Juergen. It will be Sarah's first Christmas and I would like it to be special for her. It's hard. I do not feel like a festival of lights and joy. I want to put on sack cloth and rub my face with ashes. I remember when Jessica first got sick with autism. I wanted to sit on the sofa and cry all day. This began to affect Nicole. It really made her feel afraid. I had to be careful, and control my emotions around her. I had to cry only during the nap times. Then I found myself crying so much, I was lying in a puddle of my own tears. One thing that brings me comfort right now is the knowledge that you never feel loss for what you never had. Some people leave tiny foot prints in your life, Juergens mom will leave a very deep hole. It hurts because we were all very blessed. I thank God I have been so blessed.

Comments

chicken coop idea

Why not start with an IBC and cut a hole for the door? You could build closed laying boxes into it, and something for the chickens to roost on. Put some straw or saw dust on the floor. You could add vents to the side for air. If it sat inside a chicken run that you can walk into, the chickens could be safe, dry and happy. I have an extra IBC. Maybe this could be my chicken house? I bet I could even plant the outside of it with mud and grass for extra insulation and good looks.

The Opel Agilia

I think I don't want to spend the money for the VW New Beetle. It's a very cute and safe car, but cost about 17,000Euros new. I can find it for 13,000Euros (this is the most basic model) but that's more then I would want to spend. I don't really drive that much. I'm pretty cheep at heart. I need real value for my money. I keep thinking we really should take advantage of the money Germany is offering to trade old cars in for 2500Euros towards a new car. If I buy a car that's around 10,000 Euros, then the Government is actually going to pay 25% of the cost of that car. That's really a very good deal. Since I know I will need a new car in the near future, I feel I should get a new 10,000 Euro car. The Opel Agilia is around 9,900 Euros. It's got 5 doors, and room for 5. It is pretty safe, and comes with a 6 year warranty. I would not call it my dream car, but I could easily afford it. I'm trying to be wise here. There are other cars in thi...

Reading Kingdom

I am very happy to review the Reading Kingdom. This is an online program that uses a variety of methods to teach reading. I decided to share this product with my adopted granddaughter Ruth. Reading kingdom uses a six skills integrative method Ruth only just began to use the program. She is only 3 years old and cannot use the program without help. But her mom says that she can already recognize words like girl and kids when they are shown on the screen. Sylvia wrote that she loves the repetition of the words in the program . That Ruth is memorizing the words she sees. She will be able to use it for an entire year. But I expect her to become a very good reader. And what a great gift to give to any child! She will have a lifetime love for books. Sylvia also works with teenage mothers in Uganda. And many of these women have never attended school. So she plans to use these ideas to h...

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