Wednesday, March 16, 2011

fear



About 25 years ago I was a full time campus pastor at San Diego State University. Every rent check was paid from the gifts of people who felt lead to give to our ministry. I often didn’t know where the money would come from, but it somehow came. I felt lead to pray for a white Toyota van. I prayed for months, maybe even a year. Then one day I got a phone call from my dear friend Berry. He was at a Toyota dealer. He told me to come meet him there, he found a car he wanted to give us. I showed up and he was ready to buy us a brand new mini van. I have to be honest, it was more then I had asked for. In fact, as I drove this new car off the lot my thoughts were “God, how will I pay for the insurance on a brand new car”? Everyone around me was so excited! They all thought Wow! But I felt over whelmed by the small details.

Today God has opened the door for us to buy a house we have desired to own. I’m pretty sure we can get a good loan. I’m pretty sure we will find a buyer for our house. But we are feeling a little scared by the details. How can we afford the new windows, renovation of balconies, rooms for the boys etc… crazy! God has done the big work, and we are afraid of the small stuff! I had no idea how I would pay for the gas and insurance on that brand new white Toyota van, but the money did come. I kept paying my rent, my phone bills, my food bills and for insurance. I don’t feel like we have to know everything before we take the next step. We have to be wise. We also need to be prepared to renovate over time. It doesn’t have to be perfect from day one. Please pray that God will make us wise. We have not signed a contract. We need wisdom to know if we should move forward. And if we do move forward, we need a little faith.


Nicole has her math exam today. Juergen is meeting the CEO of SAP. I meet Philip's teacher today. He is getting into fights at school.

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