Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The ups and downs
Emotionally I'm down. The house has not sold and that is really disheartening. I want to just move forward with other stuff, but the house does effect us. It's not just an emotional effect. It cost us allot of money to pay for 2 houses. The bank isn't being nice, they want their mortgage payment even if we don't live in that house! That hurts. Each month we dish out so much extra money, I could be sending my parents airline tickets every month! That kills me! I want to see my family, but I can not because I'm broke! And we are spending money to fix the house up. Thursday we spend a 1,000 Euro on the floor in the living room. We spend time at the house painting, and wall papering. We may spend another 1000 Euro to put new floors in the bedrooms. We are doing everything we can to make the house more "sellable". It is a buyers market. And people are being so picky! We didn't argue the owners of our house down one cent. We didn't demand they do anything. Juergen took an entire month off to renovate. We spent 30,000 Euros to renovate. Why? Because we love the house, and wanted it. It isn't easy to find a cool old house like ours! But know one wants the Leimen house. Row houses are a dime a dozen. And it's killing us! I realize none of this will matter in 10 years. God willing we will recover. The house will be sold, or rented. I did have 2 people ask to see the house. A private family see's the place on Friday morning, and a investor (a person seeking an investment property) sees it on Monday afternoon. Maybe all the extra stuff we are doing will end up helping us sell the house. God knows we don't want to rent it out. Renting will help us stop the financial bleeding, but we will continue to carry the debt on the house. We do not want the debt on 2 houses. We want to be out of debt...100% out of debt. But when the choice is bleeding to death, or renting...you stop the bleeding. So we are investing time and money in the Leimen house. We are doing what we feel we must do. And even though I feel depressed, I know it will eventually work out OK. I love our new house. I'm very glad we took this step. We just need the grace to see it through. Jessica has a test day at her new work group on Thursday. The whole group will be moving in February. And they are moving to a garden center and house that's located 5 km's from us. It should take me about 5 to 10 minutes to run Jessica to her group. Wow! What a gift! I expect Jessica to "act up" poorly for awhile. She doesn't transition well. But I hope she loves her new teacher, and her new group! When I think about Jessica "not transitioning well", I think of me. Isn't selling the house in Leimen just part of the transition? I want the process to be over. We have worked so hard...we have spent so much money. I'm so tired, and I just want to kiss the past goodbye. I want my time and resources devoted to the now. But we are still transitioning. And I need to deal with it better! So easy to say…so hard to do! I need grace. But what's new?