surviving autism

There were two enemies pulling me down yesterday. One is called the past, the other goes by the name future. The Dr asked us about all of Jessica’s past diagnosis and treatment. That's almost two decades of struggle. These are not mountains I have climbed...and battles I have won. I am still fighting, and still climb. I will most likely fight and climb my whole life. I do not want to look back, I would like to leave it all behind me. I want to shed the past like a heavy coat...I have no interest in dragging those memories around. At least the memories of a 1000 Dr’s appointments and the fear and grief and loss. And the future...it's scary! I have zero interest in figuring that out. I can not tell you what’s ahead, I only know God holds me. But the meetings with the Dr and judge is about Jessica’s future. We need to own the future legally. But it is not something I can deal with...I do not possess the grace. I only have grace for now. The only way to survive autism is to live in the now. So yesterday was plain awful (a quote from the movie Annie). But the sun shines today because today is all I see. I survive autism one day at a time. It is the only way to do this. Do not look back, and don’t look ahead, just keep your eyes fixed on now. Now is beautiful! Today I look directly into the eyes of Jessica. I do not see struggle…I see love.

Comments

Shelldell said…

One day at a time, and I love Keith Green songs they are so encouraging.

8:15 PM

chicken coop idea

Why not start with an IBC and cut a hole for the door? You could build closed laying boxes into it, and something for the chickens to roost on. Put some straw or saw dust on the floor. You could add vents to the side for air. If it sat inside a chicken run that you can walk into, the chickens could be safe, dry and happy. I have an extra IBC. Maybe this could be my chicken house? I bet I could even plant the outside of it with mud and grass for extra insulation and good looks.

The Opel Agilia

I think I don't want to spend the money for the VW New Beetle. It's a very cute and safe car, but cost about 17,000Euros new. I can find it for 13,000Euros (this is the most basic model) but that's more then I would want to spend. I don't really drive that much. I'm pretty cheep at heart. I need real value for my money. I keep thinking we really should take advantage of the money Germany is offering to trade old cars in for 2500Euros towards a new car. If I buy a car that's around 10,000 Euros, then the Government is actually going to pay 25% of the cost of that car. That's really a very good deal. Since I know I will need a new car in the near future, I feel I should get a new 10,000 Euro car. The Opel Agilia is around 9,900 Euros. It's got 5 doors, and room for 5. It is pretty safe, and comes with a 6 year warranty. I would not call it my dream car, but I could easily afford it. I'm trying to be wise here. There are other cars in thi...

Reading Kingdom

I am very happy to review the Reading Kingdom. This is an online program that uses a variety of methods to teach reading. I decided to share this product with my adopted granddaughter Ruth. Reading kingdom uses a six skills integrative method Ruth only just began to use the program. She is only 3 years old and cannot use the program without help. But her mom says that she can already recognize words like girl and kids when they are shown on the screen. Sylvia wrote that she loves the repetition of the words in the program . That Ruth is memorizing the words she sees. She will be able to use it for an entire year. But I expect her to become a very good reader. And what a great gift to give to any child! She will have a lifetime love for books. Sylvia also works with teenage mothers in Uganda. And many of these women have never attended school. So she plans to use these ideas to h...

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