Monday, October 26, 2009

my birthday, and feeling sad

My birthday is this week. I turn 48 years old. A Dr comes on my birthday to examine Jessica and declare her permanently disabled and 100% dependant. She turned 18 years old this year. Normally that would make her an adult, able to make her own choices. If we do not strip her of her rights and gain legal custody, she could be a ward of the state. I don't want that to happen. So Weds day we meet the Dr. Later next month we meet a judge. I wish with all my heart she was well, and able to make her own choices. I'm afraid I will be unable to celebrate on wedsday. It will be one of the saddest things I ever have to do. Some things you should not think about. Some tasks should just be done...just do it, and do not think about it! I have no choice, I must just do it. I will celebrate my birthday on Sunday instead. Jessica means gift from God. She will legally become mine until I die. Then she will be Nicole’s. Nicole already knows and accepts this. I'm not sad for me, I'm sad for Jessica. She will lose all her rights. This makes me very sad.

3 comments:

Rick Moreno said...

Your sorrows are never unnoticed. It is in the darkest times and places that the greatest tresures are kept. I choose to celebrate you and your life still. You are as great of a tresure to Jessica as she is to you.

Shelley said...

Jessica is your gift to be treasured, and it will be God's blessing to you on your birthday that she will be cared for and not taken advantage of by the world.
I pray you'll enjoy the gift of life on your birthday.
Love, Shelley

RamblingMother said...

Such a hard decision and situation to be in. God has a reason and purpose for every situation. Sometimes it may seem easier for Him to tell us but then we may not believe what He says like the prophet of old when told about the Babylonian captivity. All of this with Jessica has not and is not taking God by surprise and He will give you strength through this too. Praying for you to have a wonderful birthday.