No Garden

I'm kind of sad! We thought we could have the garden on the hill if we wanted it. That was the impression the man gave us. We gave it lots of thought. We wanted to count the cost. We had to figure out how to get water, shelter, storage and sewage to the property. It would require investment. We were ready to say yes last week when Sarah went into the hospital. I called them and told them this. They said it was OK. We could deal with it this week. On the weekend they said another person wanted one of the pieces of land (he had 2 gardens to rent). This person would choose on Monday, and then we could call. So last night Juergen called back. The other person got the garden we wanted, but we said we would take the other garden (it was a bigger piece but a steeper hill). He said no, he was in no hurry to find someone. He would wait until next spring. The thing is, it's a vineyard. The other person that got the land wants to keep it as a vineyard. Because of this he got the land. I think the owner is looking for someone who wants to keep a vineyard. If he can not find someone by next spring, then he will give it to a vegetable gardener. So it's not really no...it's wait. I am full of ?????? I invested so much time thinking about how we could do it. I was really excited about it. I feel like it's really a no. The owner said maybe, but I feel like God said no! Maybe I was just so willing to say I will stay in my house, and have a large garden on the hill. But maybe God wants us to go in another direction. I just want to settle the whole thing. I want to know what to expect. I want to plan and dream. God said no...and so I wait again. I'm sure he has a better plan, he always does! I hate to wait!!!