I started to listen to the audible book "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. The idea of the book is we need to live more in the moment with a greater awareness of the many gifts or blessing God has given us. Not fixing our eyes on the tragedies and troubles of this life (and not pretending there are not troubles). But to really consider the good things. And when we stop to see all the goodness in life, letting go of the grief and pain...this is when we start to live. I started my own list of 1000 gifts. I'm planning on adding to this list daily because God gives me so much every day. I'm almost 50 years old. I do not want the rest of my days to just pass by with out notice.
1. Juergen took care of me today (we were both sick). I could count Juergen a 1000 times a day!
2. The boys had good report cards. They both did better then I had thought. Nice to be surprised!
3. Thomas got to play in a band today. His first band! I played drums in a band when I was his age.
4. Nicole went shopping with me. I am so blessed by her good company. We bought sparkling candles and panda balloons for Sarah's 8th birthday. We bake cupcakes tomorrow.
5. Sarah and I watched a movie together. She holds me tight and it feels so good to be her mom!
6. Jessica feels better today. She also fell asleep at a good hour. Her smile is a gift. I'm so glad she is finally well.
7. I could actually smell my coffee today. I must be getting better. I love my coffee!
Life is a gift. I remember the nurse that checked Juergen and I out of the hospital when Jessica was born (Jessica means God's Gift). Jessica was born with 4 heart defects. The nurse told us about her own son. He also was born with a bad heart. They didn't expect him to live a week. He lived 10 wonderful years. And even though they lost him, she was so grateful for those years. Her story was a gift to me. And I have never asked God Why me...why this sickness. I'm sad about Jessica’s autism, but not about her life. Her life is a gift. And I would rather have her autistic then not at all. We could have lost her 19 years ago. Know one teaches me more about loving the moments then Jessica.