Thursday, November 05, 2009

Feeling stupid

I’ve lived in Germany for 14 years but my German is not really very good. My Uncle use to call me dumb because my language was so delayed in English. I couldn’t speak very well at the age of four years. I know I’m not dumb…at least in English. This week I had to speak extensively with a teacher, a doctor, a pastor, a speech therapist and a lawyer . I can understand maybe 85 % of what is said in normal conversation, but with the lawyer I could only comprehend 10% of what he said. We are trying to gain permeate custody of Jessica our 18 year old autistic daughter. I had to ask Juergen what the man said. He gave me a lecture on needing to learn German. Thank you Juergen. I try, but it does not come easy to me. I cried today because I felt so tired and so stupid. Sometimes raising 5 kids with special needs can just wear you out. Jessica has been home all week because her teacher is sick. I’m very tired, very tired! But added to that is how small I feel when I have to do it all in German. Maybe it would be just as hard in America? At least I wouldn’t feel so intimidated. Germans can make you feel so small.


Shelley said...

I'm so sorry, I know I could never speak German as well as you do.
I have enough problems speaking our own language. Jergen is the one whose (forgive me for saying it) stupid.
He should not have been hard for you trying.
Men can be insensitive sometimes.
He should stay home 365 days a week all day with kids and see what happens.
I hope you have a better day tomorrow.
Love, Shelley

RamblingMother said...

You need a big {{{HUG}}}.