It's not always easy

Sometimes you try to do „normal “things and it just ends up really bad. Yesterday we wanted to take a family trip to Pisa and Lucca.  But Jessica (our 22 year old autistic daughter) was so stressed out it made the whole trip very stressful.  Jessica kept hitting and pitching me.  I am black and blue.  The rest of the family was on pins and needles the whole day.  Yes they got to ride bikes on the wall in Lucca, and see the leaning tower but it was not a fun day.  It was a mistake.  Next time I know we just have to take turns going places (this makes me rather sad).  It’s supposed to be a family vacation but Jessica does make it pretty hard at times.  But I’m also trying to push her out of her room.  And she is fighting every attempt at change.  Autism is ugly…it’s the monster in the room.  If I expect it to be easy I always end up disappointed.  It is partly my own fault for not facing up to the reality.  I should have let them go to Pisa without me.  I could have taken Jessica shopping and we would not all be so stressed from the day.  Live and learn.  Today I’m trying to get Jessica to sit and eat breakfast before she can have her TV.  She is very stubborn.  But it is a small battle and I will win.  I am tired and I had no interest in going anywhere.  It’s raining outside.  It’s gotten cold.  Mom is going to make us an apple pie.  We are all tired.  It’s a good day to read and play guitar.  A good day to watch the world cup and paint.