Friday, March 27, 2009
I'm so glad it's Friday
I don't often have hard weeks. I guess I can thank God for that! I feel very much like a victim, out of control of the present events. I know that things will get better but for now my hands are tied. I bought a new shopping cart today. I want to walk more, so now I can walk to the store everyday instead of taking the car. I was also going to my friends birthday party tonight , but I phoned and told her I really did not feel like going to a party. I really love this friend but some times you just want to take a hot bath and watch some mindless movie. I was getting out of my car today and I saw some poppies growing well in my yard. I love giant poppies. These ones are a beautiful shade of orange. When I planted them last year they didn't do well. They died back almost immediately. But that was then. Today they look great! It just took awhile for them to get established. My sons (both Thomas and Philip) are going through stuff. I feel like they are like these poppies. Right now they don't look too good. Maybe in time they will find their way, and they will thrive. As a parent that loves them, it's not so easy to cope with the transition. I'm doing all I can do...but everything I do is not enough. It is a hard an hopeless place to be. But my God does not leave me without hope. I just need to let the seasons pass. I have faith they will become established. As I wait, I am also trying to be very careful with myself. I would love to be a super human, but I’m just a human. It’s been a hard week and a need some rest.