Tuesday, December 02, 2008
I could never be God
This after noon (for over 5 hours) I took care of a classmate of one of my sons. This kids mom is getting a divorce because her husband beats her. Last year a friend of Sarah’s moved after his mom got divorced for the same reason. Every bone in my body hurts. It's half from the stress of caring for this kid. He is a nice kid, but hyper active and probably pretty stressed from what is happening. I'm also stressed at the idea of a man hitting the women he is supposed to love and protect. I could not be a counselor. I just could not bear the emotional pain too many people carry. To be honest with you, I don't even like being around parents of disabled kids. Most of them stress me out. Too many of them lack hope. I can not carry them. My hands are already full. Part of the reason I adopt is because it turns a sad situation into a situation of hope. It's what I can manage. I could never handle the pain of so many. My heart breaks. I'm sure we will have this kid over again. I don't look forward to it, but I know I need to be open to helping them. I feel sick with sadness. I’m so weak. I need a tougher skin!