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Me first,me biggest,me best!!!






The kids played for over one hour today with bubbles. One thing that really bothers me is Thomas' need to be first and best! He steps on others to get the "best" bubble blowing tools. He chooses the best spot by the bubble fluid. He pushes everyone away, steps on others, and threatens to spill the fluid if he doesn't get what he wants. You might think it's just bad character driving this rotten brat attitude. You could think that, and just stop there. When I think about it I know there is more. He grew up in an orphanage with 300 other kids. If there was anything good going on, it was only the pushy aggressive kids that got any of it. If you were polite, you missed out. Some things (good things) have brought out the pushy aggressive “I'm going to step on you" kind of behavior in my son lately. I really hate to see it. How long will it take for him to realize there finally is enough of the pie to go around? How long will it take for him to relax and wait for his turn? When I think of all those years he waited for a family (almost 7 years) it makes me sad. We don't see this behavior in Philip because he was so young when he was adopted. We see some of it from Sarah. I pray God heals my children and causes the memories of hunger and poverty to fade.

Comments

Patchesnposies said…
Amy-I really struggled with this type of personality in one of my grown bio-sons! I have an adopted son that is this way, too. While the post institutional issues exacerabate this, I really do think that part of it is simply a set of personality traits that need to be harnessed by the Holy spirit.

A really good book that helped me to understand the dynamics of our clashing family personalities was "The Way They Learn", (How to discover and teach to your child's strengths, by Cynthia Ulrich Tobias.

I first heard her speak on one of Focus on the Family's broadcasts.

I only wish I would have read this with my first set of kids!

This book really helps to de-personalize the issues and helped me to understand how I had to adapt my parenting style so my little "concrete" learner could understand.
3:58 PM
Amy said…
Thank's, I will take a look at the book.
4:12 PM
Gracie said…
What adorable pictures! I am so glad I found your blog!
10:21 PM
RamblingMother said…
Hang in there. It may take time for him to learn.

Beverly
10:47 PM
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