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bitter sweet 16


I've been thinking allot about Nicole's 14Th birthday on Saturday. Nicole continues to grow strong, wise, and more and more independent. If you have not caught on...she makes us extremely proud. Jessica also has a birthday coming up in a month. She will be sweet 16 on September 8TH. I remember turning 16, and what a big deal it was to plan the party. There will be no party for Jessica. She hasn't got a single friend. The sad thing is she never has had one. She has spent her entire childhood in self imposed isolation. I use to cry rivers of tears over what she has never experienced. The loss seems cruel. Perhaps it was? But I haven't got any more tears for her childhood. I think about a story I think is found in Hinds feet in High places. Much Afraid asks about the beautiful mountain flowers that bloom and die never being appreciated by man. Then she is told that God himself walks through the Meadows where they bloom. They are his personal garden. I believe many people see and acknowledge the beauty and talent of Nicole, but only God knows the glory hidden in Jessica. I pray God will allow me to know her more then I do, but I am grateful for what I have. As I contemplate her birthday, it seems bitter because she remains sick and 100% dependent, but on her birthday I want only to celebrate the sweetness of my first born child. She is a hidden flower, very isolated and alone. Her worth could never be measured and you could not fathom the influence she has had in my life.

The photo was taken on her 15Th birthday

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