Sunday, March 24, 2013

it takes 2

Jessica got up this morning and got into the refrigerator. She got a can or refried beans that had been partly opened , but still had the lid on it. And she cut her finger on the lid. So she walked with her bleeding finger up the stairs into her TV room. She has a high tolerance for pain. She sat there for awhile, and let the blood run from her finger all over her, all over her sofa. Thank God it's leather and can be washed. Eventually she comes into our room to show Juergen she is bleeding. At first he thought she had a bloody nose. He takes her into the bathroom to clean her up. So now there is blood all over the bathroom too. And he discovers it's her finger. And he deals with the cut, holding it to stop the blood. And I grab a bucket and cold water to start cleaning the mess. There was blood in the kitchen, living room, downstairs hall, up the stairs, the upstairs hall, her bedroom, TV room, and bathroom. And I'm wondering how anyone does this alone? How can anyone raise any child, let alone a disabled child alone? But I'm not alone. In the end Nicole, Sarah and Philip were all helping with the clean up. Thomas was still asleep. And Juergen got the bleeding stopped. But Jess will not keep a band aid on it. So I'm thinking about putting a drop of crazy glue on it. I read..."Super glue as a treatment for wounds began during the Vietnam War when emergency medics would use it to seal wounds and stop bleeding. Today, athletes sometimes use it on minor injuries to stop bleeding quickly or to pad blisters. Some dermatologists even maintain that glue may lead to less scarring than stitches. " It isn't a deep wound. And it's a clean cut. The problem is that a band aid will drive my autistic daughter crazy. She will pull at it until it's off. So I don't think we can stop her from getting that finger bleeding again without super glue. It isn't such a big cut you would normally even need stitches. We will see. If she doesn't keep the band aid on, I'm going to try crazy glue. But I'm glad Juergen is home to help me with this mornings mess. I'm grateful the whole family helped clean up. I'm grateful Jessica is already her cheerful laughing self. No real harm done. It does make me wonder how anyone does it alone. We should all be aware of the millions of single parents and offer our support. The divorce rate of parents with autistic kids is 85%. Autism is a stressful disability, and can be very hard on families. I am so very blessed to have Juergen. He is such a great dad to all our kids. A great dad to Jessica. Yesterday we both sat with Jessica at McDonalds (just the 3 of us). It made her happy so we sat there for an hour. When I think about what the stupid girls look for in a husband today I have to wonder. "He is such a good dancer, he drives a cool car" . Stupid stuff. How about he will be there to help you when you need help. He will love you and honor you, and protect you. He will always do what is best for the family. He will do his best to be a provider. And he will not walk away from you if you have a sick child. I could never thank God enough for Juergen. I wish Jessica wasn't sick, but she is. And Juergen is with me. And so is Nicole. And even Thomas, Philip and Sarah are there. So it is OK. And I hope we raise our sons to be good husbands and fathers too. They are good dancers but I want them to be so much more.

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