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A note about the Christmas party

Dec 1
Dear Colleagues
We are happy to invite you to our annual Christmas party on Dec 24 in the Argentina Steakhouse.
We will have live music and be able to sing Christmas carols - and our CEO will appear dressed up as Santa Claus and light the tree.

I am looking forward to meet you there and wish you and your families a merry Christmas season.

Regards
Bernfried Meier-Eiergeist
Director of Personnel
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Dec 2
To: All employees
Yesterday's mail had by no means the intention to isolate our non-Christian colleagues. We of course realize that your holidays do not totally conform to ours.
Therefore we will now call the party the "year-end party". We will have no tree and we will not sing either.
I wish you and your families a happy time.
Regards
Bernfried Meier-Eiergeist
Director of Personnel
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Dec 3
To: All employees
In this mail I respond to a discrete hint from a member of the alcoholics anonymous that has demanded a 'dry table'.
I am happy to be able to comply with your wish but would like to note that your anonymity cannot be fully guaranteed.
Bernfried Meier-Eiergeist
Director of Personnel Research
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Dec 7
To: All employees
I finally managed to get a special table for all the "Weight-Watchers" far away from the buffet and another table for the pregnant women that is close to the restrooms.
Are you all happy now?
Bernfried Meier-Eiergeist,
Director of the nut-house

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Dec 9
To: all employees
Of course we will separate the smokers from the non-smokers by a heavy curtain that will completely divide the party room. If this is not possible, we will put the smokers into a tent outside.
Bernfried Meier-Eiergeist,
Director Sanatorium

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Dec 10
Vegetarians ! I have been waiting for you! I don't give a '*§$%//#*@!!! whether you like it or not: We are going to the steak house!!!
If you want you can fly to the moon to be as far away as possible from the 'death grill' as you call it on the 24th. Just go to the salad bar and eat raw tomatoes.
BTW, tomatoes have feelings too, they scream when you cut them. Yes, I have heard them scream. Now what do you say?????
I wish all of you a rotten Christmas. Eat and drink what you like and choke on it.
Bernfried Meier-Eiergeist,
The idiot from the third floor that is wasting his time with you...

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Dec 14
Dear colleagues
We have heard that Mr. Meier-Eiergeist is doing better now. The sanatorium will probably lift the ban on visitors within a few months.
Jens-Peter Müllerr>Interim Personnel director
PS: The Christmas Party has been cancelled

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