The Heymann Family Journal

Philip has been a little mean lately. Today he broke down crying. It seems some older boys at school have been teasing him about being Asian. It makes him feel afraid and sad. We love Asians, and are proud of his dark hair and tan skin. It's so sad some stupid people (and I mean stupid in the real meaning...uneducated) don't accept people that are different from them. The sad thing is this is coming mostly from Turkish boys. They probably feel prejudice, and they are inflicting the meanness they have received on someone else. Thomas gets it too. Some how we need to teach our kids not to be mean in return! This kind of stuff can not continue with them. We try to teach them to treat others the way they want to be treated.

http://edition.cnn.com/video/#/video/offbeat/2007/09/23/pkg.nintendo.grannies.cnn

Juergen had a good visit with his parents this weekend. His mom is home from the hospital. She has a broken hip, and is confined to bed 24 hours a day. A special care taker comes a few times a day to move her in her bed so she doesn't develop bed sores. She is drugged heavily so it's not really clear how effected she is by the brain tumors. Some times she seems very clear thinking, and other times very out of it. Everyone around her are treating this very seriously. They all feel like this is the end of her life. Juergen and I both know that this is probably true, but we feel compelled to keep praying for her healing. Waldtrud also told Juergen that she is not afraid to die, but does not want to go yet. I hear other stuff I believe is from God, but I don't feel at liberty to write it down yet. Please just pray for the favor of God to rest on Juergens family. If she dies she is with God but we will feel a great loss. I still pray God will give her 20 more years. ...

Here is a story on CNN about the world champion Burrito eater. 'Eater X' after 12 pounds of burritos: 'I love Mexican'. I love Mexican too...but 12 pounds of anything in my stomach would kill me, not to mention the gas it would give you!

I was praying again this morning about Juergen's mom. I just didn't know what I should pray. Then I felt like I should pray for the favor of God. I'm not sure if favor is really something tangible. You either have it or you do not. When Juergen went to Africa with Reinhard Bonnke he traveled on the same airplane, eat lunch with Bonnke and sat on the platform with him too. He was in the favor of this great man. Thousands upon thousands of people were attending the meetings, but Juergen was in a favored position. This is the best example I have. We do not always have favor, but it is amazing when we experience it. I felt like I should pray for the favor of God to cover Juergens parents, brother and sisters like a heavy blanket. I do not know exactly what will happen now, but when we look back on this period of time I hope we will remember it as a time of great favor.

Juergen is going to see his mom this weekend (God willing). You know we have been praying allot for her to be healed. She seems to be getting worse. She is home from the hospital (she fell and broke her hip). She basically can not sit up, walk, feed herself, or even talk on the phone right now. It is difficult to understand when we should give up praying for healing and just accept death. Everyone deals with this kind of stuff differently. Her 70TH birthday party was kind of strange.Everyone was so sad, as if she had already died. I guess they just want some peace. Hope can some times be painful...acceptance can bring peace. But I don't want to accept this, at least not yet. I will not fail to love God if she dies, but I won't stop asking for her life while she still has life. I think it will be a very hard weekend. I'll be here with the kids. Sarah will probably be really sad and insecure having her Papa gone. Juergen will also be very sad. Please pray for...

Nicole just got elected as the class speaker for the environment. She has to go to the school meetings and report to the class about recycling etc...Her Grandma is an environmental scientist. I guess you could say it runs in her family!

Juergen talked with Jessica's teacher on the phone tonight. There is a new autistic boy in her class. He also writes. During one of the lessons Jessica wrote that she thought the lesson was boring, and she wanted to leave. Jessica's teacher read this out loud. The autistic boy wrote that he agreed with Jessica! During a religion class the autistic boy wrote, why must we take this stuff? I do not believe in God (this isn't a quote...it is what Juergen recalls from the phone conversation). Jessica then wrote, I believe very much in God. They then asked Jessica what she would like to learn. She said more about Jesus. Then they asked her about what she already knew. She said she knew the story of his birth, and the doubling of the fish. Cute! I'm so proud of my girl!

http://edition.cnn.com/video/#/video/politics/2007/08/07/sot.newt.gingrich.cnn?iref=mpvideosview

Yesterday Nicole and I went to the CFAN conferenc e. We got stuck in very heavy traffic and had a hard time parking the car. There was a big soccer match next to the conference. We ended up missing allot of it. We also had to walk a mile from the parking structure. The evening service was very blessed. I remember one story Bonnke told, it was really good.A women had a prized table. It was a perfectly restored antique . It was her pride and joy. One day her son took a car battery apart on the table. Battery acid ruined the surface of the table. She was devastated. A few days later she had a birthday party. She took a table cloth and placed it over the spot where the stain was. No one at the party noticed the stain. They all complimented her on her beautiful table! He then said everyone has a stain on their table. We may cover it up with a table cloth, but it's there. God can see under our table cloth! He can make us new. Over 600 people came forward to receive t...

Germany looks at Islamic Turks This is a CNN video about terrorists in Germany

Nicole and I were late getting to the conference last night. The traffic was so heavy and there was allot of road construction. We had a really great time in the car together. Nicole is getting very funny. She kept me laughing with her observations from high school. Nicole is basically a nerd. No make up, and not a fashion queen. She has a heart of gold and cares about what really matters. Lucky for her she was born beautiful. She doesn't really need any makeup(in my opinion). I have no objection to make up. Some girls at this age cake it on. You can easily see they don't like them selves. They try to hide behind a mask. Nicole also had some funny stuff to say about the latest fashion trends. The girls are wearing cloths that look two sizes too small. They are also into short skirts, and bright colors. Nicole said the small girls look like Santa's elves, and the bigger girls look like they have forgotten their own size (meaning the cloths make them look fa...

I just read This Story on one of my favorite adoption blogs. It's about God providing a new roof for a family who just adopted their 10TH child. I love how God cares about our detailed needs!

This weekend Reinhard Bonnke will be in Stuttgart . I hope to be there too, at least part of the time. I'm not generally a fan of loud evangelists. I generally like the style of a funny teacher. I was driving my car one day about 5 years ago. I got a very clear word from God. He said, "you need an Elijah to pray for Jessica". I got home, and I had an e-mail from a man in America named Richard Shaka. He and his wife are both from Serra Leon West Africa. They were going to stay with us that summer. Ricard asked me if I knew Bonnke. He had met him once in Africa and wanted to see him again. Bonnke lives in America but is German. I had seen Bonnke speak once in San Diego but didn't really know him. I looked him up on the Internet. That day there was a testimony on his website. He had gone to a village in Africa. He was brought to a school for the deaf. There were 70 deaf kids in the school. Bonnke prayed, and all 70 kids were healed so they closed the ...

This was sent to me by my aunt Pat. Its a great story. I wet my pants when I was in the 2ND grade. I wish someone had saved me! Come with me to a third grade classroom..... There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives. The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, "Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat." He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered. As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl...

I was in Germany on 9/11. I turned on CNN to watch the afternoon news when I heard the report about the first plane hitting the world trade center. They thought it was some kind of terrible accident. I saw the 2ND plane hit the WTC live on CNN. It felt like the beginning of the end of the world. I called Juergen on the phone. He was in a meeting. They stopped the meeting. Everything stopped. None of us could believe this was happening. How could this happen? We wondered if we could ever feel safe again. I watched the news nearly every minute of the day. I found myself waking at 3am to watch the news, as if something new was going to happen. Finally we just pulled the plug on our TV. We turned the TV off for two years. I red my news on the computer once a day. The whole thing was making me crazy. I was very sad, but I needed to keep on living. I did not die on 9/11... They just arrested some terrorist in Germany. Who knows, perhaps we now live in the new ground zero?...

Nicole and Thomas went back to school today.Juergen tried to get Thomas a place in the International school, but no chance! He is back in his old class. He has a real problem with German comprehension. He can read and write German, but doesn't understand what he reads. I'm not really sure what we can do to help him improve. I think he will need extra help. I guess we will have to seek that help out ourselves. Philip will not begin school until later in the week. Juergen talked with the school director, and will bring Philip to his new school Wednesday, or Thursday. Jessica begins school on Thursday. Sarah says she also wants to go to school. We will look for a kindergarten place , but I don't think she can go until January. She has been really moody today. The transition is pretty hard on her. It's hard on me too. Normal seems a long way away. We will get there! At this point I wouldn't mind sending Sarah to kindergarten. I would love to have my morni...

It's been an emotional weekend. I guess I'm talking to my self, trying to calmly understand what I really believe about death and dying. Trying to prepare myself for the loss of Juergens mom. She has told me before her desires. I don't think she would want to be confined to her bed, unable to care for herself. I think about what she wants...not what I want. But what I want is not to lose her...and the emotions often over take the logic. I find myself crying. I am trying to be brave...but I'm not so brave. The reality is she is getting worse. The tumors have grown very large. She can no longer walk.I'm grateful she can still think and talk, but for how long? The kids begin school tomorrow. Juergen has gone with the boys to show them their new schools. Philip must go to the "special" school for kids with learning problems. I tried so hard to keep him in the normal school system. I would home school him if I was allowed to. My hands are ti...

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting. After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes on and says, "Welcome to Holland." "Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I am supposed to go to Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy! All my life I have dreamed of going to Italy!" But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place. So, you must go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must le...

Juergen's mom fell again today. She broke her hip again. She is in the hospital. Please pray for her because she has allot of pain. Juergen called his parents when we returned from Holland last night. They told him they had talked with Waltruds doctors. They don't plan on doing more surgery on her brain. Unless God steps in, she is dying. She will not be able to walk again, or even stand again. The tumors have paralyzed her legs. I've talked to her about it, and I know she does not want to live a long life unable to move. She believes in God. She does not really fear death. I think being totally disabled is a greater fear to her. Juergens dad Richard has carried such a heavy load caring for Waltrud. He is also really feeling the effects of his own age. He is 79 years old. He has to write everything down because his memory is failing. It's difficult to tell if it's the stress causing the memory problems, or something more serious. I just want prayer...

I remember when Jessica was born. I guess when you have a baby you can only imagine their lives as being good. It has been good, but it's also been very hard. I'm grateful God doesn't generally tell us what the future holds. Most of us, including myself could never carry the weight of tomorrow. I can hardly believe Juergen and I handle Jessica's autism the way that we do. I've never had a conversation with Jessica, not once in 16 years. For me this is the deepest loss that I feel in my life. I think being able to talk with her makes me look forward to heaven even more. Today I took Jessica shopping. She knew ahead of time this would be her birthday gift. As we walked through the store She would lead me from one thing to the next. She choose two books, and a new DVD. She also picked out hot wheel cars for her brothers and Sarah, and she got Nicole a science DVD. She bought a chocolate cake, and candy too. She was very calm and happy to shop. She was n...

We stood in traffic most of the way. The trip home was long and I want to kiss the ground! It's great to be home!Jessica turns 16 tomorrow, I teach sunday school on sunday, and school starts on Monday so It will be a ful weekend. Thank you for following our trip to Holland!

I just read that Keukenhof is only openned from March until May! Oh well!

I took Jessica, Nicole and Sarah to see the sea lions today. Sarah cried when I took her from her papa, but she ended up having a great time with the girls. Thomas was sick this morning. I guess the heavy wind and wet weather caught up to him. He has slept all morning. Juergen took Sarah and Philip to swim one last time. We leave tomorrow. Jessica was just getting use to the place! Any way, I'm glad I dragged her out of the house for a few hours! We may get to stop and see Keukenhof gardens on the way home. They have wonderful green houses, and I want to buy some tulip bulbs! I took my parents there one time in the spring to see the tulips. It was wonderful! We have really loved Texel and hope to come back again...next time for two weeks!

Today is the 10Th birthday of Thomas. I wrote a post last night saying he isn't treating me very well lately. I slept on it, and decided not to keep the post on my blog. It was too much of a self pity post! I think the real problem is Thomas. He treats others in a mean way because this is how he is treated...not at home but at school. He is sad and feels rejected. I'm the one who gets that rejection from him. It hurts. I love him and I'm really sad he isn't that happy. I don't want self pity. I really want prayer for Thomas. Please pray that God would establish him in a school he can really thrive in. Pray for a best friend for my son Thomas. He has no close friends and he isn't very happy. I hope we can give him a wonderful birthday. I'm sure we can make it special.

Hi Mom and Dad. I loaded the best photos on my flicker account. You can find this at the bottom of the sidebar. You can see the still photos there. We love you! Greetings from Holland!

This morning we were sitting at the breakfast table. Juergen, who lived in Holland until he was 11 years old was really enjoying the raisin toast with chocolate sprinkles on it. I said it's because it reminds him of his childhood just like I love Mexican food. Nicole who is getting to be very clever chipped in, "and McDonalds reminds me of my childhood"! Sad but true! The weather has turned very cold and stormy. The sky has cleared a little, so Juergen took everyone but Jessica to the beach. So far Jessica still doesn't want to join the family. I think I'm going to drag her to the swimming pool today. Knowing Jessica, she will start joining the family on Friday just in time for us to go home! We really should have made this a two week vacation. You live and learn! There are still so many cool things for us to try here. We need to get busy, and maybe even plan to come back. I like it here very much!

Today we went to the main town of Texel, Den Berg. They had a large street market and sheep judging contest. Jessica liked the shopping but got pretty stressed out by all the people. I thought the sheep were not very pretty. I guess they were judged on other qualities like the wool? We also bought Sarah some wooden shoes. Juergen and I will take the kids swimming later. The weather hasn't been very good. It is over cast and rainy. I feel like sleeping. If the kids would just let us sleep...this would be a very relaxing vacation! A walk on the beach with Nicole

We are starting to unwind, thank God! It is very peaceful here. I'm so sorry we only booked it for one week and not two. It is all going by so fast! We are keeping busy flying kites on the beach, jumping on the trampoline, playing on the playgrounds (both inside and outside). We met a German couple with two adopted girls from South Africa. We will try to meet up with them tomorrow at a playground. Jessica is still staying in here room. We are going to drag her out to visit a sheep market on Monday. Texel has 1300 people, and 1500 sheep. 500 of the islands "Best" sheep will be in the market square of the main town for an annual sheep competition.

My parents can not view the slide shows because they have a slow connection. So Mom & Dad here is a photo for you. Just click on the photo to see it larger. I love you!

The little house we have rented is very nice. It has a living room and dinning area, and a little kitchen,3 bedrooms, a bath room as well as a private garden. We are on a small island called Texel. Texel is known as the little Holland. We have cable TV. I am watching a garden program in Dutch. I hope to see some green houses and a good garden while we are here. Juergen grew up in Holland until he was 11 years old. We love the yogurt and cheese, as well as the chocolate for the bread.

It's quite here in our vacation house. Juergen has gone to the indoor pool with Philip, Thomas, Sarah, and Nicole. I imagine we will be able to take Jessica in a day or two. She needs to adjust to being here first. I'm happy for the space. The kids have been home from school for 5 weeks. They have mostly been good. This past week they have not been very good. Some how they have gotten stuck in the "Mom, he did this", "Mom, he did that" mode. They have not been helpful in getting ready to come. They have basically out done each other in getting into trouble (the boys and Sarah). I guess the anticipation of the trip, the uncertainty and excitement has brought out the worst in them. I happen to be the one who gets the majority of the brat behavior, although Nicole and Juergen also receive a good dose. They were the same this morning. It finally broke me. I'm sure Sarah's rejection last night, and my over tiredness added to the mix. I sta...

It's almost 2:30am. Sarah woke up with a nightmare. I guess that was to be expected. When I went to comfort her she looked at me in fear and screamed for Juergen. It was the same fear she had in Shanghai. I haven't thank God seen it for awhile. I know she will not hate me tomorrow and I have got to find the courage to let this rejection fall off of me. I will try not to panic about our up coming trip to the USA when papa will not be there to comfort her. It takes courage to look into the eyes of your child when they hate you. Courage to wait and build for a future when they can no longer remember the fear. I will probably never forget the pain of this rejection...but it only plays a small role ,totally dominated by the love.