First, I had a serious talk with the boys before we traveled. Somehow, they listened. Their behavior was amazingly good (at least until we traveled home). Juergen’s dad seemed really calm. He has lost a great deal of weight over the past few months. You can see it has taken a real toll on him. There was a remarkable peace. Allowing her to die at home was his only goal. He managed to accomplish this goal. He was grateful. He also stopped himself from dwelling on any thoughts of "self pity". Every time he began to talk about Watlraud, he would remember the good things they had done. He gave thanks. He also told me a story. It was after one of the many surgeries Waltraud had undergone to remove the brain tumors. After one of the surgeries she just was not waking up. The doctors were very worried. He was over come with emotion. He went into the bathroom to wash his face. There was an uneven step in the bathroom. He tripped on this floor and hit his head hard. He could have really hurt himself. He felt like God was trying to teach him that even if he feels overwhelmed emotionally, he still needed to watch where his feet were. His plan is just to watch his feet. To stick to the basic stuff he must do. To get by day to day. It has been such an awful thing to watch this woman he has faithfully loved for 50 years die. He is not glad she is gone, but very glad she is no longer suffering. God carried Richard through all of this. He is an amazing person. I can see where Juergen got his character. He came from a noble family.
Juergen took Philip, Thomas, Sarah, and Nicole to the service and I stayed at the house with Jessica. We knew Jessica would not be able to sit in an overcrowded church and stay quite. I walked over to the graveyard with Jessica a little later. The church where Richard and Waltraud were married and the graveyard where she was buried are all only a few blocks from where she raised her children. When the family went to the service, I went into Waltrauds bedroom to say goodbye. I looked around this room that she spent her final months. On the walls are art work done by her many grand children, and a photo of her father (she never knew him). On her night stand was her watch, her reading glasses, and a bag of pencils I had given her to write notes to her family while she still had the strength in her hands to write. She only actually wrote one note. It was to Jessica. She wrote, "Dear Jessica, we will eat lunch together". Someday we will sit down together in heaven and eat lunch. On that day our Jessica will be the one who does all the talking.
I brought a reluctant Jessica to the graveyard so she could kiss a rose and throw it into the grave of her grandmother. We arrived 5 minutes late. Juergen had already done this important task with the other kids. I had to push my way through the crowd. Jessica was loud and crying. I'm sure most people understood Jessica was disabled. Juergen and I both held Jessica’s hands. I put the rose to Jessica’s lips. She kissed it and throw it into the grave. I did the same thing. I also prayed. I could not believe how much peace I felt. I just knew she was not there. It was her earthly body that we were sticking into the ground. As the pastor had made clear in the service (I was not there but I was told) the body is like a coat. You take it off. You receive a new and better coat in heaven. I had so much peace that I was not really saying goodbye.
After the funeral there was a coffee time. About 100 people stayed for this time. Juegren’s good friends had traveled from other parts of Germany to be there. That blessed me more then I could say. Jessica sat in a corner and watched videos on Juergens laptop. That kept her busy about 1 1/2 hours. Then she got tired and I had to leave early. During the coffee time a few people stood up and said how Watraud had blessed their lives. During this time the two women Richard and Walraud had adopted stood to say how much their lives were changed because they were adopted by the Heymanns. I was OK until this point. Then I just could not stop the tears.
The ride home was very stressful. The weather was dangerous. There was snow and ice on the roads. It took us almost 8 hours to get home. The boys, who had been very good the whole time, just could not maintain that discipline forever. I felt like kissing the ground and falling into bed last night. We will see how we process all these things over time. I thank you for your prayers. I could really feel many had prayed for us.
Juergen took Philip, Thomas, Sarah, and Nicole to the service and I stayed at the house with Jessica. We knew Jessica would not be able to sit in an overcrowded church and stay quite. I walked over to the graveyard with Jessica a little later. The church where Richard and Waltraud were married and the graveyard where she was buried are all only a few blocks from where she raised her children. When the family went to the service, I went into Waltrauds bedroom to say goodbye. I looked around this room that she spent her final months. On the walls are art work done by her many grand children, and a photo of her father (she never knew him). On her night stand was her watch, her reading glasses, and a bag of pencils I had given her to write notes to her family while she still had the strength in her hands to write. She only actually wrote one note. It was to Jessica. She wrote, "Dear Jessica, we will eat lunch together". Someday we will sit down together in heaven and eat lunch. On that day our Jessica will be the one who does all the talking.
I brought a reluctant Jessica to the graveyard so she could kiss a rose and throw it into the grave of her grandmother. We arrived 5 minutes late. Juergen had already done this important task with the other kids. I had to push my way through the crowd. Jessica was loud and crying. I'm sure most people understood Jessica was disabled. Juergen and I both held Jessica’s hands. I put the rose to Jessica’s lips. She kissed it and throw it into the grave. I did the same thing. I also prayed. I could not believe how much peace I felt. I just knew she was not there. It was her earthly body that we were sticking into the ground. As the pastor had made clear in the service (I was not there but I was told) the body is like a coat. You take it off. You receive a new and better coat in heaven. I had so much peace that I was not really saying goodbye.
After the funeral there was a coffee time. About 100 people stayed for this time. Juegren’s good friends had traveled from other parts of Germany to be there. That blessed me more then I could say. Jessica sat in a corner and watched videos on Juergens laptop. That kept her busy about 1 1/2 hours. Then she got tired and I had to leave early. During the coffee time a few people stood up and said how Watraud had blessed their lives. During this time the two women Richard and Walraud had adopted stood to say how much their lives were changed because they were adopted by the Heymanns. I was OK until this point. Then I just could not stop the tears.
The ride home was very stressful. The weather was dangerous. There was snow and ice on the roads. It took us almost 8 hours to get home. The boys, who had been very good the whole time, just could not maintain that discipline forever. I felt like kissing the ground and falling into bed last night. We will see how we process all these things over time. I thank you for your prayers. I could really feel many had prayed for us.
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